


isn’t it love?

by mettamaxie



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Pining, Rarepair, Secret Crush, marnie is not here physically but she gets mentioned. a lot, only subtly though because we do not have confused romance-induced breakdowns in this house, smug bastard boy realizes he's in love w his best friend and proceeds to fucking lose it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22024195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mettamaxie/pseuds/mettamaxie
Summary: He was always so confident, managing to stay strong and be the best of them all. Why was his heart suddenly making him so weak?
Relationships: Beet | Bede/Mary | Marnie
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	isn’t it love?

Glimwood Tangle. A perfect spot to hide away in the dark, sitting underneath the low glow of the mushrooms as Impidimps and Phantumps scurry by in a rush. The odd little forest was relatively quiet, maybe an ominous sound coming from a Pokémon here and there, but quiet nonetheless.

Clearly not quiet enough for one lone soul, however.

Bede sometimes came to Glimwood Tangle to clear his head of whatever was troubling him. With his Ponyta in tow, he walked down a secluded path shrouded by trees and the occasional glowing mushroom to light the way. Normally he enjoyed the silence of the forest, it gave him a chance to simply breathe and not think about anything.

Not this time, however. Even the silence wasn’t enough to distract him from his rushing thoughts plaguing him at the moment.

Sighing in defeat, Bede stopped walking along the path, merely sliding down into a sitting position. He gave his Ponyta a light tap on its hoof, signaling it to sit down next to him. It complied, gracefully lowering to the ground and laying behind its trainer, allowing him to use its body and soft mane as a cushion of sorts.

Leaning back, Bede frowned and closed his eyes. Walking didn’t help, but maybe sitting and focusing very hard would help clear his mind. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, scrunching his eyebrows as much as he could in a fruitless attempt to quell his mind.

_Nope. Still nothing._

He groaned and leaned back further, not wanting to accept defeat but getting closer to having to do so. Maybe Bede was approaching this the wrong way, but he simply didn’t care. He wanted to ignore his thoughts at all costs, ignore the feelings that they gave him in his chest, ignore the way that they caused his muscles to tense up and his heart to race. If he dedicated any time to them, he ran the risk of acting impulsively, and he just wouldn’t allow that. No, he was to remain calm and collected, cool as he usually is, he was better than this, he was-

“Ponyta, is it possible to love too much?”

_Impulse._

Bede clamped his hand over his mouth almost instantly, though not quickly enough that he could stop himself mid-sentence. It slipped out of him so easily, causing him to blush in embarrassment. That word, that word beginning with the letter L, it shook him to his very core. He could barely say it aloud, the one exception being just now, of course. Regardless, he couldn’t dream of speaking it so freely, much less saying it to his beloved-

No. She was not his beloved. As much as his thoughts tried to convince him that she was, he would force himself to think otherwise. The two were just friends. Friends that had briefly met long ago and recognized each other years later by mere chance. Friends that grew close together somehow, despite their usual exteriors seeming a bit unfriendly and uninviting. Friends that maybe, hopefully, eventually felt mutual lo-

_There he went again._

He hid his face in his hands as he tried to shake off his thoughts once more. He had to stop thinking about her, one way or another. He wouldn’t rest until he got that image of her pale pretty face framed so lovingly by her silky black hair tied up in two even pigtails, with little red ribbons that accentuated her somewhat cold but beautiful teal eyes that softened when she looked his way-

_Again._

“I have never felt this way about anyone, Ponyta.”

He was acting rather impulsively tonight.

Bede didn’t even bother covering up his mouth or bringing his words to a screeching halt. He was slowly becoming more and more defeated as he succumbed to his thoughts. He was always so confident, managing to stay strong and be the best of them all. Why was his heart suddenly making him so weak?

He was right, however. The girl in question, Marnie, made him feel some way that he had never felt about anyone else. He didn’t understand why his face grew warmer every time she looked his way with a soft smile. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so dazed whenever she lovingly wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his head. He couldn’t comprehend why he sometimes choked on his words or stopped thinking coherently whenever she just spoke to him with so much warmth in her voice. It’s not that it bothered him, really. Though his feelings were making him conflicted, they were...nice.

He just didn’t understand anything, that was all.

“Ponyta, what do you think it is? All these feelings?” Bede mumbled as he ran his hand through Ponyta’s soft mane. “You don’t think I’m ill, do you?”

Ponyta lifted its head a little and gave a soft grunt, but did nothing else.

“You’re right. That’s not it.”

He continued to idly run his hand through Ponyta’s fluffy mane, staring up at the leaves on the trees. His face dropped though. No, he wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

Bede started running his hands through his own curls, growing more exasperated as he kept trying to reason with himself. “But if I’m not sick or anything, then _what_ is it?”

He wished Marnie were there with him. Just...to help him figure out what he was feeling. Would she understand? He had no idea. He just wanted to see her. Maybe he was longing for her-

No, he wasn’t. He really needed to stop doing that.

“I’m really weak, aren’t I, Ponyta?” he said with a defeated sigh. Ponyta looked over at him, soon shifting over to rest its head on Bede’s lap. He gave it a weak smile, proceeding to scratch its head as it closed its eyes and pricked its ear up, ready to listen to what Bede still had to say.

“Really, getting so caught up in my emotions like this...it’s very unlike me to do so. I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

Ponyta nuzzled its head against Bede’s hand in response.

“Ah...You’re right. You just want to listen. I don’t have to apologize.” He gave another weak smile. “I just don’t get it.”

His thoughts went back to Marnie, causing his heart to start racing again.

“Why does she have to make me feel like this? Why can’t I just feel the same way I’ve felt around anyone else? Feeling this way just because she cared...just because she was nice to me...”

Just because she showed him love. Something that no one else had bothered to do for him until then.

“...I’m stupid,” he muttered with a blush rising to his face. Ponyta raised its head, reaching up to press it against Bede’s neck. He softly laid his head on its mane, slowly feeling himself relax. His thoughts were finally letting him rest and be at peace. Maybe he had come to a realization. Something was about to click for him. It was about time, wasn’t it?

His eyes grew heavy, he had tired himself out with all his worrying. Maybe he’d rest here for a bit. Not like anyone would come rushing and looking for him, anyways.

In his sleepy haze, he barely registered his next set of words, only feeling his face grow warmer and his heart flutter in his chest as he drifted off into a light slumber.

“She’s amazing...I think I love her.”

**Author's Note:**

> yea babey we back at it again w pastelgothshipping. wanted to write another fic so like the madman i am i went and did just that. for this one i mostly just wanted to focus on bede and him questioning his feelings about marnie and all that shit. always imagined him turning into a confused mess about it so it was kinda fun to write. bede's love for marnie is the epitome of the "because you were nice to me" trope dont @ me
> 
> yea i know they never interact so that small bit about them being friends and having met a long time ago and shit? all just pure headcanons. some of my friends and i on discord came up w/ a headcanon that the two met very briefly at the orphanage, when marnie came by one day as she followed piers along to drop off some donated stuff. they end up recognizing each other again years later (to both of their surprise really, i imagine that meeting happening when they're like SUPER young) and then they just. end up sticking around each other ya knowwwww
> 
> anyways hope yall enjoy this one and remember to stan pastelgothshipping :)c


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